Finally it is Friday, it’s the end of transition week.
This week has been a roller-coaster of emotions with one way and another. Aside from George, peony has spent days in her new classroom. I had to go in with her after school to meet her teacher. Mrs XXX wanted to get to know what parent owned which child. I pretty much guaranteed that she new who was Peony’s mum. We hardly go unnoticed let’s be honest. While walking to her class room George rang the archaic bell they use in the playground causing people to leave their classrooms to see what the commotion was. We as always said sorry a lot. He then disappeared from her class room to play out side…. Where?? God only knows, he was returned to me as I was looking frantically; all the while trying to still be supportive to Peony. To say we blended in seamlessly would be a totally lie, we made our presence known!!!
Meanwhile George had his transition day. It’s fair to say that my anxiety has been at an extreme peak. I worried about his day, him moving to a different part of the school, moving away from the teacher that has had him from day one 4 years ago.
I’m so happy to say that he got on well. He loved it in fact!!!!
He went to his new classroom and discovered he was with friends that had moved from him last year. George and his teaching assistant (she has worked with him for 3 years, and will now stay with him for another year) had such a brilliant afternoon. He stuck to his TA for a short while but soon found his feet and confidence. I picked him up and he was so full of his experience, and the things that he had done.
Of all the people to have moved with George this particular TA would be the one I would choose. She is kind, warm, loving and connects with us both in such a wonderful way.
Talking to people about my anxiety and worries has been met with mixed responses. The ‘you need to man up’ and ‘he will be fine’. Also a spontaneous message from an old work colleague asking about how George’s day was, and sharing their experiences about their child. That outstretched hand was probably the most thought provoking for me. It showed me, that similar experiences, an understanding of a situation can connect two people more than it can with people that have known you for donkeys years. There are the people that you thought would call and ask how he was, ask how I was, that failed to even acknowledge the crazy week that it was. This is what hurt the most, which caused me to cry more than anything else. I found myself thinking about how alone I felt, and how when it came to George we were the only ones there to manage this.
You know what; we are alone in this plight in many ways. The big stuff as parents we have to figure out alone, we have to tread the path alone. People can walk along side us but the big emotional events can’t be understood. No one can understand the worry about George moving. George’s dad doesn’t always see why I get so emotional about the natural path of life.
I need to learn how to manage my emotions, manage my anxiety, and allow myself to have faith in people to care for George. I tell myself that I don’t want people to have him because it will be too much for them. This I have realised over the past two weeks is a total lie. Difficult or not I don’t want him to be with anyone else. In my head he can’t tell me how his day has been with much clarity, he cant tell me if people have been kind to him, he cant tell me what has made him sad.
Suddenly I am aware I am looking at this upside down. He can’t tell me in detail what a fabulous day he has had, the names of his friends he has met. I am awakened to the possibility that life for George is ruddy fantastic. The worries I feel are so above his cognitive ability, I need to leave them in my own head.
Moving to this next stage has been a very steep learning curve. However it’s nearly the summer holidays and I need to write my summer bucket list. I have 7 weeks to fill with fun days!! We will get in to lots of mischief; he will get me in to so much trouble. I can’t wait to share the things we get up to.